I’m exhausted
Hey guys!
I’m exhausted.
It’s tough trying to produce a comic to a deadline. It’s tough when my mental health isn’t kicking my arse, let alone when I’m tired all day, and can’t sleep at night. It’s tough when I’m recognising all the shortfalls in the other parts of my life, and I’m trying my best to be a better father, a better man, a better human.
Add to that a politely worded email stating that I have unwittingly mistaken a licenced character as a public domain monster and I can’t use them in my next comic? And now with less than ten weeks until we (hopefully) launch, I have to do re-writes?
Shit, yeah! It’s tough.
Anyway, that’s what happened today and it’s sent my already spiralling world into a spin. I just wanna tell stories, you know? That’s why I’ve been an actor for over twenty years. That’s why I podcast. And it’s definitely why I found my way into comics.
And this next project I’ve really tired to up my game. At last count, the team I’ve assembled is 17 humans. It’s come a long way since our first gorilla book which took a total of four people to create (writer, editor, artist, & LE cover artist).
I’ve sunk so much time and money into this next comic, so now I’m frantically trying to amputate about a third of the script.
It was my birthday earlier this week. And I don’t know if the depression or the chronic pain, but I feel old. Older than ever (which I guess I am, but you know what I mean).
I’ve been doing this comics thing for five years now and to be completely honest, I’m not sure how much longer I can continue being a one-man-business.
Long story short I’m second guessing everything. The comics, the podcast, the day job, my mental health. I need to streamline things and start making them work for me.
I hope this newsletter hasn’t been too much of a downer. I’m just trying to figure things out, you know?
Anyway…
Be good to each other.
Big Tim
"It's alright to be scared. Remember, there is no courage without fear."
Just in case you're wondering why you're getting this email; You're probably a fan of my superhero gorilla Knockaround-Guy, or you're a fan of comic book giveaways, or maybe you even dig the Dungeons & Dragons zines I’ve been making with my son! Either way, I'm Big Tim Stiles, writer of Gorilla My Dreams. Actor, singer, invented the number 8, lover, champion of Canberra people!
I struggle with depression, chronic pain, PTSD, and anger management. These things fuel my writing of comics starring a big gorilla dressed in blue.
If you'd like to follow my social medias I am @BigTimStiles on both Instagram and Twitter.
APPEARANCES / EVENTS
Halloween 2021: GORILLA MY DREAMS TEAM-UP #1 Launch
Nov 2021: The GREEN ARROW 80TH BIRTHDAY Giveaway
THIS WEEK on the TURTLE-BOY PODCAST
Big Tim and Luke discuss TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES #21! Listen on Spotify!